Laser Beams and Me

Um ow.  No one told me I was going to cry the first time I got laser hair removal.  Thanks to a lovely Groupon offer, I decided to see what all the fuss was about.  I'm a fairly low maintenance girl and could care less if other ladies decide to rock some body hair but I certainly would love to never have to shave under my arms again.  I convinced myself I'd be contributing fewer razors to landfills in the long run.

Lovely underarm shot; RVCA shirt, 7 for All Mankind shorts; Hawaiian flower barrette 

I was told it's fairly painless by the receptionist at the MedSpa and I believed her as I waited to meet with my aesthetician.  I was brought into the treatment room and we went over some questions about my heritage and typical sun exposure.  I'm of Scottish-Hawaiian, Danish & German descent and informed the technician that while my hair appeared brunette, I actually was born blonde and still have naturally light hair but dye my hair dark.  She lifted up my arm and informed me I was wrong as I had brunette underarm hair.  She told me this was good because blonde hair does not contain melanin, the thing that gives our skin and hair color, and cannot be picked up by the laser. Therefore blonde underarm hair cannot be removed with a laser.  Ok, fantastic.  You learn something new everyday.

Me at age 3, dressed in a Scottish getup from grandma

She has me lay down and put on some Lady Gaga glasses as she gears her laser up.  She puts some lubrication on the end of her device (um, I'm not in the wrong place am I?) and presses it to my underarm.  I hear clicking and beeps as the laser beam (pew pew!) passes short wave lengths of light into my hair follicles.  This quick burst of light damages the hair follicle without damaging the skin surrounding it, thus destroying the hair that grows out of it.  She moves around in a grid like manner and as the laser connects with a hair, I quickly suck the air in around me.  Mother of Pearl! That hurt!  It feels like a rubberband has just connected perfectly with my underarm.  I recover but another sharp, quick pinch is delivered.  And another.  Son of a biscuit eater!  And another.  She keeps going.  

I squish my eyes shut and try to imagine I'm on a tropical island sipping a fruity drink.  Ahhhh! Another snap and my legs jerk up.  Another snap and tears start sliding down my face.  She stops to ask if I'm ok.  I find myself choking up (such a baby!) as I inform her that I just need a second.   Dude! We're only halfway through and I'm not sure I can handle my other side being done.  I start imagining the Kardashian sisters.  How the hell do people do this on their nether regions?  No way!   She informs me she is turning the power down for my other side.  Thank you!  My goodness, my Guinness.

In front of Chinamans Hat, on the island of Oahu; 

American Apparel shorts, Mossimo tank top, Volcom swimsuit, VonZipper sunglasses

She continues on her way around my other underarm and it's slightly less painful on the lower setting and I find it slightly more bearable.   I even manage to not cry. As she finishes, she drops the "no pain, no gain" on me.  All in all, the procedure lasted maybe 5 minutes and while she certainly is correct in some regards,  I wasn't sure if I could go through with it again.  Laser hair removal usually requires about 6-8 sessions to be completely effective.  Your hair grows in cycles and while you may be killing the hair follicles that are currently growing, another cycle starts in 6 weeks, which is when my aesthetician says I should come back.

I get home and look at my underarms.  They resemble baby skin.  I am impressed.  As the weeks go by, I start to forget the pain I endured and as 6 weeks later arrives, I go in for another treatment.  This time she starts on the lower power (thank you my friend!).  Same rubberband snaps as the laser connects with hair follicles but the time between each snap is further inbetween.  She informs me each time I come in, there will be fewer and fewer hair follicles which means less for the laser to do which means less pain.  Hooray!  I survived!  I just finished my 3rd round and it was even less painful than the 2nd time.  I have gone from shaving every day to shaving every couple of weeks.  I'm not convinced that this is the end all of beauty treatments but I can say I'm only knocking it caused I've tried it.  Realize that it is NOT risk free and do your research before letting someone shoot their laser beams at you.